{"id":160,"date":"2018-06-27T23:06:17","date_gmt":"2018-06-27T23:06:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/?page_id=160"},"modified":"2019-04-08T19:41:01","modified_gmt":"2019-04-08T19:41:01","slug":"160-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/?page_id=160","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

the daughter<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong>after police shot and killed Philando Castile on 7\/7\/2016<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

it\u2019s okay, Mommy. I\u2019m right here with you,<\/p>\n

I say, but I\u2019m not there anymore. I\u2019ve grown\u2014<\/p>\n

my fingernails long enough to scratch, pick<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

at every hair in my head. you say<\/p>\n

he\u2019s dead. he died inside the car with you<\/p>\n

and me\u2014I didn\u2019t hear him or any other<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

moving around the apartment last night\u2014<\/p>\n

don\u2019t own a gun. you say he was a good man.<\/p>\n

he wouldn\u2019t like my pulling<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

my eyelash, eyebrow, baby hair\u2014in tufts<\/p>\n

now. now, Mommy, it\u2019s okay. I know you<\/p>\n

remember me with hair, braids with colored,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

plastic barrettes settled at the top, nested<\/p>\n

in black\u2014waves of lotioned hair, then\u2014<\/p>\n

my braids undone, and the hair tie, loosed so<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

like everything else that comes after this<\/p>\n

disease. they say it is compulsive, signaling<\/p>\n

unease, but I can\u2019t seem to get to the root.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

its habit\u2014to pull past pain\u2014to remove<\/p>\n

something from me. it\u2019s okay, Mommy.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m right here with you. they tell me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

it is reversible\u2014something that can be<\/p>\n

treated like wood\u2014which can keep<\/p>\n

a structure beautiful and sound for years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

when building a thing to stand for a while\u2014<\/p>\n

the body of a man, for instance\u2014to stand<\/p>\n

without talking back, as some have, it is best<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

to use pressure. according to the pamphlet<\/p>\n

on my kitchen counter, these walls are not<\/p>\n

crawling with insects. it says our building is<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

protected and treated by people I can\u2019t seem<\/p>\n

to name, but I know I heard him, Mommy.<\/p>\n

I hear him. do you?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*previous version of this poem published in Unlikely Stories<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

the daughter \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 after police shot and killed Philando Castile on 7\/7\/2016   it\u2019s okay, Mommy. I\u2019m right here with you, I say, but I\u2019m not there anymore. I\u2019ve grown\u2014 my fingernails long enough to scratch, pick   at every hair in my head. you say he\u2019s dead. he died inside the car with you … Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/160"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=160"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/160\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":547,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/160\/revisions\/547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=160"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}